a guide to the greatest city in the world
The heated debate between which province of Australia is the crown jewel is undoubtedly one of the greatest debates our nation holds. (Aside from why the fuck we can't seem to get a solid Prime Minister to not run our precious continent into ruins, that one's usually at the top of our list.) And while I'm sure Rose Byrne is going to give you a million and ten reasons to visit Sydney and new south wales, the bombshell beauty of Australia - I'm here to represent the Melbourne constituents and tell you that Melbourne is in fact, the greatest city in the world. victoria may be the smallest province, but we pack the most punch. If it's beaches you're after, Melbourne's got it. If it's snow, please fuck off. Officially recognised as a UNESCO City of Literature (whatever the fuck that means), we're a city of ruthlessly cultured folks who like to get drunk a lot and consider a jar of delicious brown sludge one of our greatest accomplishments.
And yet, the truth about Melbourne is that it's a city divided. St. Kilda is the flashy, hoity-toity bit, and Fitzroy is its unshowered, hipster sister. For being a metropolitan city, it's surprisingly spacious with parks and green spaces out the ass. It's a bit prickish when it comes to the art scene, but if it's a dive bar you fancy, fret not. We've got those out the ass, too. The city centre is a a melting pot of sorts that transcends labels (except bougie, it's all a bit bougie downtown) - with rooftop bars, world cuisine, and watering holes to keep you rotten your entire visit through. Just don't shit talk anyone's sport team while you're there, or you're liable to get your face torn off. head to melbourne from november-march, and you'll find balmy nights, sunny days, and festivals galore.
PS: click the icons this time, guys.