I felt as if an email simply wasn't enough this week and frankly, a phone screen is small. A yellow pad will have to do (and, Molly, I urge you to organize things a bit better. You had six pens that didn't work.). To start things off, you might have more muddled, stranger recall than usual. For that I apologize. I'm not entirely sure how I can explain things to you about this week but I will at least attempt to try.
The first thing is that your vacation was fine. You're home. However, many things have happened on our vacation and since. First being that Adam is like us. He shifted at the same time we did, and what's more, something strange happened with you and I. I don't understand everything that's happening with either of us, except that I suspect you might remember about the beach. And whatever you might you remember the memories, are true. We merged in a way that I haven't ever felt. I'm not sure how or why we did. I have my suspicions about why, and how, but nothing I can safely say. It could be the entity that animated me that created that, it could be the effect of two people who shift. Those are only guesses and not anything concrete. And yes, it was scary and awe inducing for me as it was for you. And...I can't say that it was an awful experience. We've never shared animosity towards each other, only confusion and a level of being able to put up with each other.
I think that could change. It isn't as if I knew nothing about you before. I was never so ignorant; I just didn't care. That was selfish of me, considering how many times i told you I meant you no harm and that I would do my best to not disturb your life. EVen when I clearly have. I had no idea of what happened to you once I receded. I do now, and I apologize for what happened earlier. I'm trying to do better, now that I've tasted what it is to be on that side.
As for Adam, if you think that we were in his mind, together, you are right. I know that the person who he shares with, his name is Arthur. He didn't feel hostile to me, at all. A little alien, but not someone to be afraid of when the shift happens again. I don't have many friends, and I think Arthur is good. He isn't Scott, for sure. It doesn't mean that we're in the clear. He has a wife, and what happened on that beach didn't sit will with her. I am still not sure of my feelings on it, or yours. There was more of me, and you mixed in with that than what normally would have happened. If you happen to run into her or her "host", stay away. I won't tell you what to do with Adam. That is up to you, but understand that you might be getting into more than you bargained for even if Arthur is someone who could be safe.
Last, I think it's important that you hear this from me: I don't know what is going to happen to us, and I don't know how long this will last. I also have no desire to return, or to die again. This body, this shared space is what we have. I'm not content. I don't like the world that we're in, and I find it an uneasy existence. This week has been illuminating for me in more ways than one. And trying. I don't always enjoy our situation, and I don't particularly enjoy being "awake" for such a short time or having to see people I know in this way. I also don't like the fact that your life has been impacted by me; I can say after this week, however, that things are going to change. I gained something I didn't have before, and you deserve that chance, too. I really do want to survive in this, together. And you should, too. I never had a relationship with my son that was stable and I don't particularly believe that he loves me, despite the times we've met. You're scared about what's coming, and you think you should back down.
Don't. Your family matters, all of them. Don't let go of that.
I'll see you again.